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Coach Beyond Borders

I must have been eight or nine. We were on holiday in Port Elizabeth ( my mom’s older sister lived there) and we were on the beach. A section had been cordoned off with rope, a big square , and round cardboard tags had been placed under the sand. Each tag, if retrieved, could be exchanged for a prize, like a whole giant sized bar of Nestle chocolate.A treasure hunt! I was so excited and when the starter gun went off, I dived into the enclosure, along with several other children, frantically searching for a tag.To my delight I found one and I continued looking for another one. That was when a young boy, perhaps a year or two older than me, approached me and asked if he could go and cash in my tag for me, while I kept on looking for another one. I readily agreed and unsuccessfully…

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I must have been eight or nine. We were on holiday in Port Elizabeth ( my mom’s older sister lived there) and we were on the beach. A section had been cordoned off with rope, a big square , and round cardboard tags had been placed under the sand. Each tag, if retrieved, could be exchanged for a prize, like a whole giant sized bar of Nestle chocolate.A treasure hunt! I was so excited and when the starter gun went off, I dived into the enclosure, along with several other children, frantically searching for a tag.To my delight I found one and I continued looking for another one. That was when a young boy, perhaps a year or two older than me, approached me and asked if he could go and cash in my tag for me, while I kept on looking for another one. I readily agreed and unsuccessfully continued my search for another one. When it was over, to my horror, the boy was nowhere to be seen. He had disappeared with my prize!

I ran sobbing to my mother, who said to me, ‘You bloody fool. What did you think would happen?’ Now my mother was the most devoted mother on the planet, but her response made me feel absolutely terrible. Distraught. Small. Insignificant. Stupid. Naive.

What happened that day, was I formed certain unconscious beliefs about myself and the world. These are called ‘shadow beliefs’. The first one that I formed around this incident was that you are a fool to trust that others will look after your best interests just because they say so, and that when you become too greedy, you can lose everything. I made the whole thing mean that I was too timid , too naive, too foolish to look after myself’ out there’.

Well that become one of the unconscious driving forces behind my decision to become a lawyer, as well as my decision to marry someone who ‘knew how the world worked’ and appeared to have mastered it.

But shadow beliefs have a way of proving themselves and making you face those old disempowering conclusions.Nowhere to run or hide. Your life will at one stage or another, present you with evidence that those hidden beliefs are true. Through this, through the pain that that causes,you are given the choice to replace them with new, truer interpretations of those old events and new empowering beliefs.Its all up to you. Your beliefs create your reality, just as mine do .

How do you do that ? How do you replace them with new beliefs so that your reality reflects those new beliefs back to you? Come to one of our workshops if you are in the Johannesburg area and if not, email me for tele classes.

Savannah and I are holding our next workshop, entitled, Falling into Fabulous, on the weekend of 18 and 19 August.We deal specifically with shadow beliefs in this workshop.

New Partner

I am delighted to share that I have gone into partnership with with an amazing woman called Savannah Steinberg.

Visit her website on http://www.savannahsteinberg.com.

This is for my American and Danish friends…

Two weeks ago, we spent a weekend in the Waterberg at the game lodge of friends. One of the guests was Megan Emmet, author of the book Game Ranger in my Backpack and executive Producer of 50/50 a well known Tv show here in South Africa.

Follow the link below to read her blog about what happened after lunch on the saturday.Not exactly an everyday occurrence.

http://blog.africageographic.com/africa-geographic-blog/wildlife/encounters-of-the-spotted-kind/

Hope this whets your appetite for a visit!!

SPIRITUAL MIDGET

When it comes to physical illness, I am a spiritual midget. I always think the worst. Any and all symptoms are seen by me as evidence of cancer or some other dreaded degenerative neurological disease. Tingling in my finger ? Must be multiple sclerosis. Rapid heartbeat for no reason? Congenital heart disease. Fatigue ? Must be cancer which has probably metastasized. Its ridiculous, I know, but that’s where my toxic thoughts go.

No matter how much I reason with myself, my body goes on a mission of its own when I have these scares. High pulse rate, dry mouth and if it is really bad, even a thick tongue.

Where does this come from ?

That’s easy. No question it’s the fearful associations that I made as a child between illness and death, when my father was ill. He had to have three open heart operations over the course of his lifetime and I have so many memories of him, collapsed with a cardiac arrest, in theatre having an operation, being resuscitated, fibrillating, weak or in pain. Deeply ingrained in my psyche as a child, I associated doctors with death. I associated hospitals with fear. Hospital smells alone are enough to trigger the memory of that fear.

We all deal with our childhood experiences differently. My sister dealt with it by becoming a radiologist. Wasn’t it Joan Baez who said that action is the antidote to despair ? I dealt with it by going into unreasonable fear and later by going in search of spiritual truths.

So for the past ten days, I have felt a discomfort in my left breast. Nothing drastic.. just not right. When I discussed this with my sister, who lives in Sydney, she said, bring forward your annual mammogram and have it checked out . ‘That’s not what’s going to get you in the end’ she assured me. ‘It doesn’t run in the family, but check it out for your peace of mind’. That did not comfort me. If she really wasn’t worried, she would have said, leave it . Wait till next wednesday when your annual mammogram is scheduled.

Literally with knees knocking and teeth chattering,I called yesterday and managed to get an appointment for 11.30 am. My heart was pounding, as I tried to access a place of trust and surrender. This is the work I do for goodness sake ! How can I be in my integrity coaching people to be courageous in their lives, to transcend their fears, when I had not transcended mine in this area of my life ? I can access courage, tremendous courage in so many areas of my life, but with this, I am a baby! And the odd thing is that I am not really afraid of death. I have read so extensively about it, that I really am not afraid. Well, at least not in theory. And yet, the fear was unbearable. I decided to do something I seldom do. I asked for a sign to show me that it is safe to trust.

I reached a measure of calm and decided at 10.30 to dash to Spar in Norwood, a shop across town that I seldom frequent, to buy some special tea that a relative was taking over to my sister in Australia in two days’ time. I found exactly what I wanted, paid for it, and as I picked up the package to leave the shop, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Standing right there was the relative to whom I had to hand the package. I laughed and handed it over. As I climbed into my car I realized that that was a powerful message of trust. How was it that out of all the hundreds of supermarkets I could have chosen, I had chosen this one and she was there, at the same time! And she appeared at the perfect moment, as I was about to go back home?

The Universe was sending me a very clear message. And the message is not trust everything will go exactly as you want it. I saw a deeper message. I saw trust that whatever the outcome there is a Divine plan. Things are organized on another level. I recalled Deepak Chopra’s brilliant book on Synchrodestiny, where he explained the source of ‘coincidences.’ Nothing happens by accident. So if you need to go through a cancer, trust that it’s a necessary part of your soul’s evolution. You will get what you need, if you need it and when you are ready for that experience. Not a moment earlier or later.I had just transformed shelf help into self help!!

I walked into the mammogram calmly. Even when they called me back for one more Xray of my left breast and then a sonar, I felt ‘I can handle this’. As it so happened, the radiologist gave me the all clear.

Cultivating that trust has to be the most important thing any of us can do in this lifetime. It makes the journey so much more joyful and light. But our trust muscle needs to be cultivated all the time. If not, it atrophies.

I would like to make the distinction between surrender, trust and taking responsibility. Whether or not I get a cancer is mostly beyond my control. Its really out of my hands. My responsibility is to make sure I have annual check ups, make sure I check out any changes in breast tissue in between, make sure I feed my body with healthy foods, not smoke and keep my emotional space clear. Beyond that, I am not in control and trying to control that which is beyond our control, that which as Byron Katie would say is ‘ God’s business’ or Reality, is simply going to cause me to suffer.

So, spiritual giant ? Not yet, but I may have grown a few inches…..

If you know that you could benefit from more courage and more confidence in some area of your life, have I got the book for you!

New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford has written her most personal, powerful and potent work to date – a proven process for overcoming insecurity and fear and unlocking the enormous courage that resides deep within. Learn how she found the courage, confidence and strength to become one of the worlds’ foremost thought leaders even in the face of her own life challenges and follow the same guiding principles so that you can become all you want to be.

Experience a new kind of courage and confidence that will propel you into an infinitely beautiful and inspiring future by reading Courage: Overcoming Fear & Igniting Self-Confidence. Launching today with valuable bonuses. http://bit.ly/HFyJr4

If you were able to choose just one quality that you would like to have access to at all times, what would it be? For me it would be courage and confidence. Its that exquisite heady mix that when you are present to it, when you are expressing it, makes you feel AMAZING. You feel like you could just hug the world . Is it possible that I can actually cultivate that quality, you may ask? Tap into it, reveal it, live it? Yes, says Debbie Ford in her latest book for women (soon to be released) called Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self Confidence.

Yes? How? Well as one of 75 coaches being trained worldwide to become a courage coach, I can confirm that there is a way. In a nine week course, we take you step by step into what can only be described as the deeper truth about yourself and who you are , a deeper connection to the Divine, one which will light you up and have you inspired about your life.

At any one moment, there are two you’s. The disempowered you, ruled and limited by your fears, your beliefs , taking small and safe actions and feeling pretty stuck and then there is the empowered you, the one who is able to face your fears head on and use them as fuel to get moving, to make new choices , a you who is able to see the limitation inherent in previously unquestioned beliefs and a you who is able to make powerful choices that will get you out of stuck places and propel your life forward. Which you would you prefer to express?

What stands between the old disempowered you and the courageous woman that you are ? Only one thing. Your story. The story you tell yourself about yourself .In courage coaching, we reveal a deeper truth about you, your unique Divine plan, the cost of holding onto resistance and resentment and I will guide you week by week to a place of more courage and confidence, radical self responsibility and more self love than you thought possible. Its 2012 and its time to take back the reins of your life, of your power! Allow me to support you in this quest.