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Archive for September, 2011

EMOTIONAL EMPOWERMENT

I have learned in my life that the more you resist and try to anesthetize your emotions, the louder they become. They are not going away. They are there to be felt, to be explored  and they will persist in knocking on the door of your consciousness until you open the door. So that you can become present to them. So that you can feel them . Like a persistent child who will not go away until you hear their message. For inside of especially the ‘dark’ emotions,like shame, sadness, guilt and anger, if you have the courage and the willingness to feel them, lies the pathway to your freedom , your power.

So many of us have had our emotions bred out of us. We learnt early on that certain emotions were not acceptable to express in polite society. We experienced shame when we were too emotionally intense and had to endure the silent glare or the disapproval of others. Others who could not themselves be with their emotions. BUT THAT DID NOT STOP THOSE EMOTIONS FROM EXISTING AND CONTINUING TO ATTRACT PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS TO YOU SO THAT THEY COULD BE FELT AND RELEASED. Ignoring your emotions, making them wrong , stuffing them down or pushing them away is perhaps the main way in which we dishonor ourselves.

Its like having a child and ordering them to pull themselves together or get over it, when they suffer a loss or a betrayal. Its like stifling a tantrum with a pillow. Its like beating a child who is afraid. Its like calling them a fool for being too trusting. Its like telling them its not okay to do what is naturally their birthright. That’s how we treat our emotions and the child within who experiences the emotions.

Fundamental to personal growth and standing in your power is being willing to feel all of your emotions. If you can’t feel your anger, how can you draw a boundary ? You will be violated in subtle and not so subtle ways until you scream “ENOUGH!” and find your voice. If you cannot feel your disgust, how can you change things? If you cannot feel your sorrow, how do you expect to feel your joy? If you cannot feel your powerlessness, how will you ever seek your power ? So although it may feel counterintuitive to feel your emotions, the deeper truth is that they are there to be felt. Felt in the very depths of your body .Felt viscerally. Felt as a physical sensation, in your chest, throat or solar plexus. If others are fearful of your emotions, that’s because they do not know or understand their own emotions.

Leaving your emotions unfelt, turns them toxic. Unprocessed emotions gather momentum over time and can cause an enormous amount of damage. Anger for example, if not given a safe outlet, can become a volcanic mass, ready to spurt out at any moment.

In being willing to dive into your emotions, you will see that on the other side there is a freedom that naturally unfolds. There is wisdom in your emotions. They are trying to tell you something. They are your truest and most authentic indicator of what’s really going on for you. They tell you when a boundary has been crossed, when you have been dishonored, when you have dishonored yourself, when you have lost something and are sad and need to shut down. They are your best friends, because they only want the best for you. When you are jealous it is telling you you feel you have not yet reached your potential, when you are angry it tells you you have been violated, when you feel love and connection it tells you this is good. Emotions are a rich source of information that never lies or tries to rationalize something away. So why do we persist in muffling them?

 

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