It took me years and so much work to realize this: Relationships are ultimately not about the other person. Our external world is merely a reflection of our internal world. When we don’t like something in our external world, this is an INVITATION calling on us to go to work on our internal world.
This is especially true of relationships. Have you noticed that you can’t really ‘fix’ or change someone else? You can try to modify their behavior by shouting , screaming, withdrawing, shaming or manipulating, but in the end, they remain essentially the same. If you spend your life trying to make others fit neatly into a vision of how you need or want them to be, you will end up bitter, frustrated and disappointed.
This is crucial to understand because as long as you are making it about someone else, you are essentially powerless. You cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that created the problem and so this is a perfect time to look to see where and how you can get to that next stage of evolution in your awareness and look at the issue through a new pair of lenses. It is time, really to access a deeper truth.
The deeper truth is that relationships are mirrors showing us what we cannot see in ourselves and are a rich source of information about the world and ourselves. Being prepared to look at yourself from the outside in, is the most humbling yet powerful thing you can do and is the first step towards taking back your power.
We need to pierce the veil of illusion that tells us that we are separate from one another and that our experiences are random. We need to stop complaining and partner with the cocreative forces of the universe to see where and how we can take responsibility and create something new, from the inside, out. We need to look at our underlying beliefs about ourselves and how they drive our responses and interpretations, and replace them with new , truer and more empowering beliefs. We need to be prepared to work with the concept of projection, and own and embrace in us, the very qualities we despise in others.
There is so much we can do to shift the dynamics, and in the process,create a whole new relationship with ourselves, one that is supportive, authentic and powerful . All of this is the promise of spiritual divorce coaching. xxxx
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